he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
