i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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