Your mouth is God's brothel.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Life is so much better after having sex.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
