He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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