nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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