I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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