idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
