I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Randomize