Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
