I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
