I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
