dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
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