I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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