it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
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