Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Randomize