I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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