Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
