am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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