ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
