Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
