bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
