he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
