ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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