the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
