there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
