didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
