hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
