haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
