so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Randomize
