She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
