after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
