Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Randomize
