Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
