is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
