i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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