you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
