when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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