And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize