Got a toothbrush?
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
