I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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