i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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