just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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