I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
