hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize