What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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