Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
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