Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
