guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
