So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
