I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Randomize