Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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