What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Why is there bacon in the couch?
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
