Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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