It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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