when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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