Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
