i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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