So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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