So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
