Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
