white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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