at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Randomize
