I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
